Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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