just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Randomize
