i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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