whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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