New invention idea: vibrating tampons
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
