Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
