so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
