I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
