I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
