I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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