Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
