I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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