I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just had sex bonerless
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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