If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
