somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
