I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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