Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
