i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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