to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
