Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
