i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
