No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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