Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
