How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Be still, my beating vagina.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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