I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
