OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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