I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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