He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
How does one acquire holy water?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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