last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
