I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
