I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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