Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
