So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
