I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Boobs are out for the taking
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
