what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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