Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize