i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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