I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
