I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
