Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
