Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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