non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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