I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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