im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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