I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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