i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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