What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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