theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
