Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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