My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
